Things we learn from our caregivers about relationships: Expert shares insights

Relationships are built over time. It also reflects a lot of the virtues that we pick up from our caregivers on the way they treated us while we grew up. This forms the basis of our future and adult relationships in the later stage of our lives. Marriage and family therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw, in one of her recent Instagram posts, addressed this issue and wrote, “It can help us put ourselves into context – into a story- that molded how we see and engage in connection.” she further noted down a few things which we pick up from our caregivers and learn about relationships. This further affects how we mould our adult relationships. Take a look:

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Respect: Respect is one of the most important foundations of a successful relationship. The way our caregivers express their respect in their own relationships, help us in setting the standards of normalising respect in our own relationships.

Response: The way we respond and reciprocate the emotions and feelings of the partner in the relationship reflects what we learnt from our caregivers.

Respect to self: Self-love is very important in order to keep our partners happy. We learn from our caregivers how to respect ourselves and not lose touch with our individuality in a relationship.

Reliance: We should be able to rely on each other in a relationship – this further comes from what we grew up watching in our caregivers and their relationships.

Reliable: In a relationship, being reliable to each other brings comfort and the sense of safety. Our caregivers portray the standards of being reliable to each other in their own relationships – this further helps in moulding our own standards.

Needs: Needs, wants and expectations from the partner in a relationship are a part of the connection. However, we should be able to respond to our own needs and wants as well, in order to keep the relationship with ourselves healthy and create the space for self-growth.