Actor Shafaq Naaz, sister of Sheezan Khan, who was accused for abetting co-star Tunisha Sharma’s suicide, recently shared an Instagram post mentioning how the “last six months have been a horrifying nightmare” which she has spent “fighting her demons.” In the post, she also mentioned that there were times when she abused herself. Now, in an exclusive chat with HT City, Shafaq opens up about her and the family’s ordeal and how people think everything is over and it’s time to move on.
“But, I’m still struggling to process what has happened. I’m still trying to understand my feelings. At times it’s all so overwhelming. No one has the idea about what I am going through,” she says, adding, “People have created an image for me and my family. Every time I go on social media, I see such harsh comments against us. They don’t think before writing things like, Yeh toh murderer ki behen hai’. I can’t say fark nahi padta. Of course, it affects me, it breaks me.
However, it’s not only the hatred on social media that’s bothering Shafaq but the behavior of her own fraternity that’s adding to her miseries. The actor reveals losing out on two projects during this tough phase because of her weight. “We are a part of an industry that seeks physical perfection. I’m struggling with that. I was given 15 days to work on myself and get back in shape. How is that practical or realistic? I also suffer from slipped disc that demands extra caution while exercising. But, I still tried and put a lot of pressure on myself — physically and mentally — but losing 10 kilos in 15 days isn’t humanly possible,” says the actor, confessing that this whole struggle to meet the unrealistic needs affected her self- confidence and instilled feelings of self-doubt.
“I started to feel that I don’t deserve good things in life. I’m dealing with a lot of anxiety. Every day just gets harder to deal with. There are days when I don’t have the energy to get out of bed,” she confesses.
She goes on to call out the “extremely harsh” reality of showbiz and adds, “Everyone was aware of whatever happened with us, and what we were going through. All I expected from them [the industry] was to show support and have faith in me. But I didn’t get any of that. Social media created pressure but it was also the industry and people around who made me feel what I’m feeling today. I can’t cut myself with a knife. I need time. I’m also not liking the way I look when I look in the mirror, but I need time to fix that.”
Owing to the pressure, Ghum Hai Kisikey Pyaar Meiin The actor reached a stage where she even abused herself, something she even mentioned in her post on social media. While she’s seeking professional help to fight through, she opens up about what led a person like her, who loves herself, to take a step this extreme.
“In the process of understanding what’s happening around you and with you, you end up doing things that you would not otherwise do. Also, when you have people around to look after, your own well-being takes a back seat. That’s what happened in my case. My family became my priority. But, now I’m really trying to move out of this phase and taking help because I’m unable to deal with this alone,” a broken Shafaq tells us, who stresses that she’s not saying any of this to seek sympathy.
“I don’t want to be called a bechaari. I was working out one day when it just struck me that I should write about my internal struggles and I didn’t think about what people would say. I wanted everyone to know that actors’ life is not all glitters. At this moment, all I have around me is negativity,” she continues, “And when you know there are more people sailing in the same boat, it gives you hope that you’re not alone in this, and this too shall pass. “
